The first day I got to my college orientation it hit me: I won’t be able to see my friends from high school when I’m here in a few months. It finally dawned on me. I will be alone. Without the comfort of relationships I’ve been fostering for years.
Its been in the air for months. The notion that--this is it, the last year with the high school chums. But, until I was in New York, sitting in my temporary dorm, it hadn’t sunk in. Somehow, I’d just kept my mind off things in the “distant” future. Summer’s end is far away. Now, its July...and I don’t know. I’m getting nervous about leaving. My best friends and my family. Yes, I’ll come back. But, it won’t be the same. I’ll have a “real” life separate from my family at home. I’ll have to fill them in on what’s going on because, sadly, they won’t be a part of my day to day life. I guess I’ll make new friends. And I’m sure they’ll be good friends. Missing home, missing your roots, is an innate function of human beings.
I called two of my closest friends that night. Just hearing their voices made me miss them more. I was so bummed. All this realization just heaped itself onto my brain. So what did I do? I wallowed in it...for about an hour that night. Then, I tried to let it go as I fell asleep, and after all the walking I had had to do that day, it wasn’t so difficult.
The next morning, I made the decision to have a good day. I decided to do the sad thing and didn’t let my thoughts dwell on home. I meandered through the my future class mates and introduced myself here and there. I chatted with my room mate about classes, the presentation we watched, and made lunch plans. I distracted myself completely. It worked. The rest of orientation was brilliant. I made a few friends. No one from home was replaced and the excitement of college came back.
Being home now truly feels like I’m in limbo. I keep trying to make the most of my time and at the same I’m beyond thrilled at what fall will bring. Summer nights have their charm, but at the same time the colors in the summer sunset will be on the autumn leaves in just a few months.